It’s been a long, hot, and physically demanding weekend. Beginning with a 6-hour trip that ended up being around 7 and a half hours due to our bus drivers overactive bladder. While I didn’t really mind it too much because it gave me more time to sleep, others got annoyed and reasonably so. This weekend was a very important weekend. A lot of history was on the line. Just like the triple crown in horse racing, it is a very difficult task to win the triple crown in track and field - conference championship wins in the Cross Country, Indoor, and Outdoor track seasons. But this weekend, Liberty University Track and Field made history. Not only did the Lord bless us with a triple crown, he blessed us with the double triple crown. Both our men’s and women’s team accomplished this difficult task this weekend. But as it says in the book of Job, “the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh.”
First of all, a disclaimer… this is not me wanting a pity party or for you to feel bad for me. This is only for the glorifying of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
In the Big South, there are some very challenging competitions and races, but in my particular case, the decathlon is not the most challenging competition, personally. While I strive to do my best, my ultimate goal is not to settle for a Big South Decathlon win. My goals are to further my competition past our conference meet. Sometimes I don’t always take the weaker competitions seriously, which is something that God has taught me a lot about this weekend. After Day 1, I was sitting in first place, and looking forward to a very helpful Day 2. Day 2 includes some of my favorite events. Not necessarily my best events, but events that help me gain ground against my competitors.
The decathlon competition is all based upon a point system. A certain distance equals a certain number of points. The farther you throw or jump, the faster you run, the higher you jump, the more points you get. Each event has a specific formula, which I am not aware of. So it is important to do your best to get the most points possible. Well halfway into the competition of Day 2, I did not complete a successful jump in the pole vault – aka a “no height.” When you “no height” you gain 0 points. At this point in time, my dreams were shattered of winning the Decathlon. But in the end, I did win in many ways. As I lay on the pole vault mats, looking up into the sky, removing the fallen bar from my lap, I was in utter shock. This is the first time I’ve ever “no heighted” or “no marked” in a decathlon before. Instantly a weird, eerie, and unfamiliar feeling fell over my mind and body. At that moment, God was using me to glorify him, but I didn’t know it. I could not get over what had just happened. When I look at all of my events and all of the multi-events that I have done, I can use one word to describe them – consistency. I take pride in the fact that I can usually be pretty consistent. I don’t seem to have these huge PR (personal record) days or the opposite end of the spectrum. So when I see 0 points next to my favorite event, it hurts. So my dreams of cruising in the number one spot, relaxing and strolling across the finish line without having to worry about my time were over. I’m sitting in 6th place, many points behind the leader, whom I was ahead of by a large margin minute’s prior. “God, I don’t know what you’re trying to teach me at this point, but I know you’re sovereign and what happened, happened for a reason. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” That was one of the hardest prayers I’ve ever had to pray to the Lord. Inside I wanted to score big, I wanted to win. But then I thought back to one night at my coach’s Bible study that he has at his house. He was talking about one of his friends who played the guitar and sang for either a Christian group or some popular band or something, but that’s beside the point. He told us about this man’s attitude about glorifying God. He said, “Lord, if you want me to glorify you in any other way other than with the guitar and music, then let me do it immediately.” So I prayed, “Lord, if this is the way I can glorify you better, then by all means I give this up to you. I don’t know what it means, but my ways are not your ways. Use me Lord.”
On my very first throw in the javelin, I felt this building of adrenaline/anger in my body. I’ve felt an adrenaline rush before, but I’ve never felt this overflowing rush before. On my first throw, I took every ounce of adrenaline and anger I had in my body and unleashed it into my javelin throw and into a uncontrollable yell. “AHHHHHHHH!!!!! GET OUT THERE!!!!!!!!” I screamed. I didn’t even care how far it went. I just knew that I gave everything I had in that one throw. And thanks be to God because I threw over 2 meters past my PR. 57.04 meters was my new PR. After that one throw, I moved from 6th place up to 2nd place. And with only the 1500 meter run remaining, I knew I would have a chance to win if I ran a huge PR. I never doubted God, but to run 12 seconds faster than I’ve ever ran before is a huge and near impossible challenge. So at the firing of the gun, I ran my hardest, leaving everything I had on the red oval. 3rd place. To God be the glory. I was 77 points from 1st place, and just a few less from 2nd place. But that’s not the important part. That doesn’t even come close. What I found out later was that it was not about my success that would glorify God, it was my actions and attitude after my failure that glorified Him the most. Numerous people came up to me, one being my coach, and another being an opposing teams coach, and congratulated me on my display of composure and positive attitude. And it wasn’t until the coach from another team came up to me that I realized the impact of my actions. I don’t know what people thought; I don’t know what people saw. I just hope that I left an impression of them. And it wasn’t until I talked to my mom, who can be one of the best encouragers to me. It may be a simple, “hang in there” text, or it could be a full-blown message about my character and attitude and how I need to correct my imperfections or actions. All I know is that when I read her text, it all made sense.
I am not defined by how far I throw, or how high I jump, or how fast I run. I am defined by God’s love. I am a child of God, and that is the only thing that matters. If I think that I am only worth the amount of points I score at a big meet, or if I threw well, or performed under pressure, it will only bring me down. You can’t define me by a number. You can’t define me by my success. You can’t define me by my failures. You can only define me by the love that God has for me. I am his child and he will do with me as he pleases. I think back to my last post about Job. (Ironic that the last post I had was exactly what I was experiencing this weekend? I don’t think so.) God said to Satan, “Have your way with Job. Do what you want. He will stand strong. He is a man like no one else.” Well, I hope this is the same conversation God had with Satan about me. I want to be the one that God says, “Yeah go ahead Satan. See what happens when you try to mess with my child. See if he doesn’t praise me more after you’re down with him.” I want God to be able to count on me. I want to be like Isaiah. “Here am I, Lord. Send me!”
The Lord is good. He is sovereign. He is forgiving. He is mercy. He is grace. He is love. Remember that. Go out there are be open to be used by God. We serve a God who is both infinitely huge, yet intimately personal with each and every one of us. Again, none of this is to boast about what I did. After all, I didn’t do what I wanted to do, but what I wanted to do, wasn’t what God wanted me to do. Yes it is such a blessing to do what God helped me do, but it’s not about numbers, places, distances, or times. It’s all about Him.
1 Corinthians 2:9 “For no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagined what God has planned for those who love him.”
