It's been ever present this summer. The anticipated and very important question to a man in his early 20's, "So...do you have a girlfriend?" I can say that at 23 years of age, deeply involved with school, track, and many other things in between, and the answer is no. Do I wish I had a different response to that question? Of course. Who wouldn't?! Yes I understand that some people God call to a single life, but I do not feel God pulling me in that direction. Which leads me to the unavoidable questioning replaying in my head, "Where is she?" or "What direction do I have to go to find her?"
You could say that for the past couple of months I have been more "open" to the idea of dating. I have thought about certain girls in my head over and over, but to no avail. And sitting back and realizing the effort and stress that I have been putting on myself is unbearable. It's not healthy. It's not helpful. I don't like that this sounds very immature, but nevertheless it's what I've been struggling with. I now realize what I need in life. I need my path to be straight towards the Lord because I know his path with lead me to the greener pastures, higher hills, and sweeter water. As I diverge from the path the Lord has for me, I realize that I get further away from her. She is on my path, waiting for me; hopefully a lot more patient than me.
Patience is a virtue. Yeah I know you've heard it, but it's the truth. It's one of the hardest things to handle, but yet the easiest. God has it under control. I need to remember that. So really I shouldn't have to worry about patience but when I try to take things into my own hands, this is what happens.
I've got the wrong "g"-word stuck in my mind. I need to forget about girls and focus on God. How simple and so high school. Oh well. Better late than never.
Some days are tough though. I think about her a lot, whoever she is. I want to be with you so bad; so much so that I'm willing to take these hard times without you to magnify the times when we finally get together. I'm thinking about you a lot, but hopefully patiently and faithfully praying for you more. So I challenge you to challenge me. If you think of it, talk to me, txt me, message me, or whatever... am I being patient?
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:9-13
G
Monday, July 12, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
"True Love" by Phil Wickham
Phil Wickham - "True Love"
Come close listen to the story
about a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave his only Son just to save us
The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers broken heart
tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died
Search your heart you know you can’t deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave his only son just to save us
The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers broken heart
tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died
Now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive X4
Oh, He is alive
He rose again
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn’t move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died
Come close listen to the story
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Blessed Beyond Belief
I know it's been awhile, but I've been slowly digesting my life lately. Besides, why rush? So anyways, I was informed that my dad's side of the family was having a reunion. This came as a shock because my dad's side doesn't get together very often. The event wasn't the only special part either; the location was key.
As long as I have been able to remember it, Brooktondale Nazarene Camp is home to my grandfather's ancient cabin. It seems like forever ago, my sister and I were sleeping in the triple-decker bunk beds. I remember times when we'd go to Sunday School and not no any of the kids. It was lonely, but it was an experience I will never forget. It's the moments like walking to Church from the cabin, or going to the mess hall to get lunch and dinner, or watching the older kids play basketball because my puny little body couldn't engulf an orange, rubber sphere. I remember thinking that the wooded area where the other cabins were, was a haunted, creepy place. I rarely went in the woods, even though there was a sweet playground maybe 50 feet into the woods.
So this camp has history. I've been to my grandpa's cabin a couple times and it changes every time. The painting scheme, a new roof, the furniture arrangements, etc. But he's still got that same refrigerator running for 50 years or so. But little did I know that history would be made during this short weekend vacation.
Now I have to be honest, but I was hesitant to come at first because it was so short notice and the last few times I've been to Brooktondale, it hasn't been the most exciting thing ever, but that was only a short moment in my thoughts. Because within the first five minutes I remember why I love my family. It is so good to see people that I haven't seen in awhile because you have so much to talk about. So conversation never stops, and I didn't mind at all!
As I have grown and matured mentally and spiritually, I've realized how important my family members are to me. They are not just some people that I get to see every once in awhile and have to give updates on my life. They are amazing, caring, brothers and sisters in Christ who genuinely care about my life and well-being. And this is something that is never really taught, it just makes sense, but it was reinforced again on this family vacation.
I had the opportunity to walk in on a discussion at the adults table, mainly led by my grandpa (no shock to anyone being a retired pastor). As I quickly focused in on the topic of conversation, a fuzzy picture of my grandpa's yearning heart slowly became clearer. He was asking my dad and the family members what they thought of the possibility of him working as a Chaplain at a nearby hospital where he spent recovering from brain cancer. By the Lord's power and grace, grandpa has beaten cancer 7 times, i think. I forget because the Lord keeps blessing him with more strength every time something else comes up. But I guess growing up working as a prison chaplain strengthens you quickly.
But as I sat there and listened to him speak, tears running down his face, I remembered what I had realized at an earlier meeting at my house a couple years prior. When grandpa is around, I want to soak up everything he says. I feel as if he is my present day Paul. The man has so much wisdom, I am so humbled that I do not speak until I am asked anything. I remember realizing not only how much wisdom he has, but how much passion he has for God. He was telling my family members that he can't walk through Walmart anymore without trying to carry around a heavy weight in his heart, questioning whether the person buying that box of cereal knows Jesus. Or whether he'll be checking-in to heaven with the guy that he's checking-out with at register #4. All he wants to do is be all about Jesus. Does that describe me? Do I want to be all about Jesus? Does it show to other people that God is my rock and foundation? I can answer those for you... prolly not. And I know i'm being hard on myself, but guess what? Our God was, and is perfect. Our most "...righteous acts are like filthy rags..." (Isaiah 64:6) I go into walmart worrying about myself; what I need; what I want. He goes in worrying about their souls. Wow I've got a lot to learn.
And then came another amazing experience. We got the whole family together for a campfire. But it wasn't just going to be a regular s'more eating fire. It was a fire that refueled the spark in my heart. It started out with a little praise and worship, which was difficult for me because of the age difference. Three generations were present at the fire and I know music has change just a tad during these generations, so it was a challenge. But then I realized that it's not about being able to sing good songs that everyone would know or could sing along to, it was the message of the songs, the words, the truth behind the songs. But after worshiping the Lord, we went around to each family, and asked them to tell us what God has laid on their hearts in terms of prayer requests and praises. Once they were finished, they were prayed for by another individual. And as the requests started to fill my mind, some blew me away. Some things I had heard for the first time. It was befuddling to hear the things that I had not known about. But when it was all over with, and my uncle said the last words, it made me realize how unbelievably blessed I am to have an amazing family. To hear him say that even though we haven't seen each other for two years, they still caring and praying for every single person sitting in those chairs. I haven't talked to my cousins and aunts and uncles in awhile, but I know that they love me, and I hope they know that I love them. I have a new burden on my heart for my family. And even though I may not be prayed for, or I may not remember to pray for them sometimes, we all serve a God who is all-knowing and all-loving, all the time. Praise the Lord for that truth. God is love. Always.
I will never forget that weekend. I will never forget the love that my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, parents, siblings showed towards me. Those kind of moments change people.
Thank you Lord for the blessings of having a Christ-centered family. Continue to keep my head on straight, putting you first, and putting your kingdom above any other possession. Help me stay strong. Amen.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY
As long as I have been able to remember it, Brooktondale Nazarene Camp is home to my grandfather's ancient cabin. It seems like forever ago, my sister and I were sleeping in the triple-decker bunk beds. I remember times when we'd go to Sunday School and not no any of the kids. It was lonely, but it was an experience I will never forget. It's the moments like walking to Church from the cabin, or going to the mess hall to get lunch and dinner, or watching the older kids play basketball because my puny little body couldn't engulf an orange, rubber sphere. I remember thinking that the wooded area where the other cabins were, was a haunted, creepy place. I rarely went in the woods, even though there was a sweet playground maybe 50 feet into the woods.
So this camp has history. I've been to my grandpa's cabin a couple times and it changes every time. The painting scheme, a new roof, the furniture arrangements, etc. But he's still got that same refrigerator running for 50 years or so. But little did I know that history would be made during this short weekend vacation.
Now I have to be honest, but I was hesitant to come at first because it was so short notice and the last few times I've been to Brooktondale, it hasn't been the most exciting thing ever, but that was only a short moment in my thoughts. Because within the first five minutes I remember why I love my family. It is so good to see people that I haven't seen in awhile because you have so much to talk about. So conversation never stops, and I didn't mind at all!
As I have grown and matured mentally and spiritually, I've realized how important my family members are to me. They are not just some people that I get to see every once in awhile and have to give updates on my life. They are amazing, caring, brothers and sisters in Christ who genuinely care about my life and well-being. And this is something that is never really taught, it just makes sense, but it was reinforced again on this family vacation.
I had the opportunity to walk in on a discussion at the adults table, mainly led by my grandpa (no shock to anyone being a retired pastor). As I quickly focused in on the topic of conversation, a fuzzy picture of my grandpa's yearning heart slowly became clearer. He was asking my dad and the family members what they thought of the possibility of him working as a Chaplain at a nearby hospital where he spent recovering from brain cancer. By the Lord's power and grace, grandpa has beaten cancer 7 times, i think. I forget because the Lord keeps blessing him with more strength every time something else comes up. But I guess growing up working as a prison chaplain strengthens you quickly.
But as I sat there and listened to him speak, tears running down his face, I remembered what I had realized at an earlier meeting at my house a couple years prior. When grandpa is around, I want to soak up everything he says. I feel as if he is my present day Paul. The man has so much wisdom, I am so humbled that I do not speak until I am asked anything. I remember realizing not only how much wisdom he has, but how much passion he has for God. He was telling my family members that he can't walk through Walmart anymore without trying to carry around a heavy weight in his heart, questioning whether the person buying that box of cereal knows Jesus. Or whether he'll be checking-in to heaven with the guy that he's checking-out with at register #4. All he wants to do is be all about Jesus. Does that describe me? Do I want to be all about Jesus? Does it show to other people that God is my rock and foundation? I can answer those for you... prolly not. And I know i'm being hard on myself, but guess what? Our God was, and is perfect. Our most "...righteous acts are like filthy rags..." (Isaiah 64:6) I go into walmart worrying about myself; what I need; what I want. He goes in worrying about their souls. Wow I've got a lot to learn.
And then came another amazing experience. We got the whole family together for a campfire. But it wasn't just going to be a regular s'more eating fire. It was a fire that refueled the spark in my heart. It started out with a little praise and worship, which was difficult for me because of the age difference. Three generations were present at the fire and I know music has change just a tad during these generations, so it was a challenge. But then I realized that it's not about being able to sing good songs that everyone would know or could sing along to, it was the message of the songs, the words, the truth behind the songs. But after worshiping the Lord, we went around to each family, and asked them to tell us what God has laid on their hearts in terms of prayer requests and praises. Once they were finished, they were prayed for by another individual. And as the requests started to fill my mind, some blew me away. Some things I had heard for the first time. It was befuddling to hear the things that I had not known about. But when it was all over with, and my uncle said the last words, it made me realize how unbelievably blessed I am to have an amazing family. To hear him say that even though we haven't seen each other for two years, they still caring and praying for every single person sitting in those chairs. I haven't talked to my cousins and aunts and uncles in awhile, but I know that they love me, and I hope they know that I love them. I have a new burden on my heart for my family. And even though I may not be prayed for, or I may not remember to pray for them sometimes, we all serve a God who is all-knowing and all-loving, all the time. Praise the Lord for that truth. God is love. Always.
I will never forget that weekend. I will never forget the love that my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, parents, siblings showed towards me. Those kind of moments change people.
Thank you Lord for the blessings of having a Christ-centered family. Continue to keep my head on straight, putting you first, and putting your kingdom above any other possession. Help me stay strong. Amen.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY
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