Cry Me A River

Ever since my mother gave me "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, its been an amazing journey for many years to chisel away at my mistakes and then re-chisel the same mistakes away again. Every day I read this devotional, I am amazed at how imperfect I am. I think i'm doing good, but instead I get a daily reality check. Today was no different.

I could have stopped after the first sentence and learned my lesson for the day. So here it is...

I have never lead anyone to the Lord. It's a fact in my life that I'm not proud of. It's not a fact that I will ever boast in because that's not what it's about. But it's a fact I've dealt with and contemplated a lot. I worry that I am not doing enough for the Lord, and in fact it makes me feel like I've done nothing. But I'm tired of the devil sneaking these thoughts into my head.

"A river reaches places which its source never knows." A simple sentence drenched with power and truth. I have no idea how God is going to use me just as the river does not know where the water will end up. Sometimes I don't know how I've been used, if I've been used at all. But guess what?! We're not always supposed to know!!! There have been few instances when God has made it known to me that I made an impact on someone. But now that I think about it, it shouldn't matter to me if God tells me or not. I'm supposed to be the salt and light of earth, no matter if I'm in a room full of lanterns or not! And just like my last post, our goal isn't to be worried about these things. And do not equate this to an excuse for mediocrity and justification to not share the Gospel with someone.

I believe that we are all given gifts. God has told us this many times in the Bible. But I believe that God has used me in different ways other than leading them to the Lord face-to-face. Maybe God has someone else in store for that job. I am not scared of being that person if God puts that situation in front of me, but I've yet to be in one of those situations.

All in all, I don't know what God has planned for your life. I don't know how God is going to use you, but God does. And we need to be in a good standing relationship with God so that we can be in tuned with what He has for us. And the next couple of lines of the devotional says this... "And Jesus said that, if we have received His fullness, 'rivers of living water' will flow out of us, reaching in blessing even 'to the end of the earth' (Acts 1:8) regardless of how small the visible effects of our lives may appear to be. We have nothing to do with the outflow--'This is the work of God, that you believe...' (John 6:29). God rarely allows a person to see how great a blessing he is to others."

Well said Oswald. Well said.

Have a blessed day! Be a light!

Be Weak and Foolish

As I read through the first chapter of 1 Corinthians last night, I came to an abrupt stop once I hit verse 26. About half way through it I told myself, "I am not ready for these next couple of verses!" They were so powerful that taking a quick glance at them before I went to bed wasn't gonna cut it. So as I looked at them today, the power oozed through the spaces between the letters. There was a reason why I had underlined this entire last section of chapter one.

You have to be in the right frame of mind to read these last couple of verses. To skip over them... well, let's just not go there. Verse 26 starts off with a slap in the face: "not many of you were wise according to worldy standards..." Ok sort of humbling, but I see that sense of humility we must have. "... not many were powerful..." Yupp, still humbling. "...not many were of noble birth." Ouch. But what if I truly were wise?! Or really powerful?! Or strong?! Well, keep reading... Verses 27 and 28: "But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are." Immediately I think, "I guess I don't want to be strong anymore." Why? Because of what it says in the last verse, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." I don't want to boast in anything but the Lord. Being strong and wise and noble are all great things that we should want to be, but these characteristics should be at no higher level than our unconscious thoughts.

Let me give you an example. Have you ever been asked, "Who is a hero in your life?" Many of you probably do have one whether its your mom or dad or a favorite athlete. But when I think about a hero, words like "conceited", or "cocky", or "arrogant" don't come to mind. It seems like being a hero is almost unknown to the hero itself. If the hero is making a conscious effort to be a hero, it tarnishes the image of a hero, at least in my own definition. My kind of hero is selfless, sacrificial, and unrelenting. They are unaware of their "hero status." So my point is, and the point of this passage is, don't aim to be wise, powerful, or boastful. Seek the Lord and he will use you in your weakness and foolishness to "shame the wise" and "shame the strong."

"...Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:31

Armor Up

For the past couple of weeks, my battle against satan has been a losing battle. Whether its a mental struggle or a physical one, i've been letting him slip into my thoughts and it slowly seeps into my heart. But then God reminded me of one of his amazing truths. The armor of God.

^"10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." - Ephesians 6:10-20

Everyday I need to wake up and immediately put on the FULL armor of God. Not parts of it. All of it. I love verse 12 because it says that our battles are not of "flesh and blood", Satan doesn't attack us physically, he weasel's his way into our thoughts and then his venom slowly seeps through our hearts and the rest of our bodies, and it comes out in our actions. We put on the FULL armor of God, why? "so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Have you done everything in order to stand up against Satan and his evil desires? I wish I could say that I do everything I can to battle against him, but I don't.

Lord, help me to remember to put on your full armor of God daily. Help me to proclaim your gospel fearlessly. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ..." Romans 1:16


In Him,

G

It's not easy.

A poem to my wife:

Nights like these are hard to bear

Knowing you are out there somewhere

Finger tips slow and graceful

Holding what is so dear, so meaningful

A selfish ambition deep in my heart

Is to have you here, no longer apart

I wish our time was here today

But to plan my own life is not the way

My hands, cold, rough, and empty

Make me try too hard, its tempting

To try to find the piece that’s missing

But only to learn I’m still in testing.

I want those days of smiles and chuckles

And times of serenity, when knees will buckle

Dancing, dinners, and nights to remember

Our hearts on fire, starting from an ember

Dozing off to a soothing tune

To a late night walk under a full blue moon.

My six string heart, plays only for you

Singing to the eyes of a love so true.

All these things are yet to come

Wherever you are, I’m still willing to run.

My God has promised, a faithful helper

Jeremiah 29:11 – His plan. We’ll prosper.

I really want you here with me. Maybe you are, but I haven't seen which way God's leading me. Prolly means i'm still learning. Please be patient with me. I'm praying for you. I love you.

Geren

Hmmm

As I sit here and punch in some numbers and look at certain marks or times, I think to myself...


I really want to run fast, jump high, and throw far. Now the hard part is to not let this goal slip its way to the top of my priority list. I want God to use me more than I want to run, jump, and throw well. I hope that's how it stays.

God, help me keep my priorities straight.

GOD > track. end of story.

Test the Spirits

1 John 4:1-6

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. ²By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, ³and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. ⁴Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. ⁵ They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. ⁶We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error."

listen to God and His Spirit. nothing else.

Worship

Worship is giving God the best that He has given you. Be careful what you do with the best you have. Whenever you get a blessing from God, give it back to Him as a love-gift. Take time to meditate before God and offer the blessing back to Him in a deliberate act of worship. If you hoard it for yourself, it will turn into spiritual dry rot, as the manna did when it was hoarded (see Exodus 16:20). God will never allow you to keep a spiritual blessing completely for yourself. It must be given back to Him so that He can make it a blessing to others.

There are NOT three levels of spiritual life -- worship, waiting, and work. Yet some of us seem to jump like spiritual frogs from worship to waiting, and from waiting to work. God's idea is that the three should go together as one. They were always together in the life of our Lord and in perfect harmony. It is a discipline that must be developed; it will not happen overnight.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, January 6

Will you?

"In preaching the gospel, always focus on the matter of will. Belief must come form the will to believe. There must be a surrender of the will, not a surrender to a persuasive or powerful argument. I must deliberately step out, placing my faith in God and in His truth. And i must place no confidence in my own works, but only in God. Trusting in my own mental understanding becomes a hindrance to complete trust in God. I must be willing to ignore and leave my feelings behind. I must will to believe. But this can never be accomplished without my forceful, determined effort to separate myself from my old ways of looking at things. I must surrender myself completely to God."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (not referenced in My Utmost For His Highest)

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, December 22