Life or Death - You Choose

I don't know how this post is going to turn out because it is so raw to me, my mind hasn't wrapped around it yet. But this post needs an introduction...

Nasopharyngeal Angiofibroma - a rare disease that is only found in 3-4 cases per year, is a histologically benign but locally aggressive vascular tumor that grows in the back of the nasal cavity. (wikipedia)

My best friend from back in Allentown, PA was just diagnosed with this rare, but potentially life-threatening disease. He told me about this diagnosis a couple weeks ago and I have been praying for his health and his trust and strength in God in this situation. But it seemed like a very vague prayer because I didn't know exactly what was going on. I still don't know all of the "specs" but I sat down with him at lunch today and he told me about it. Basically it boils down to this. The 8 hour surgery to remove the tumor behind his right cheek is dangerously close to his interior carotid artery. For those who don't know what is, basically it's a very very important artery in your head and if it is damaged or touched, it usually only ends in a fatality. So this surgery is very dangerous. My friend will be going to see a specialist at the University of Pennsylvania in December in order to see what the doctor says and if he trusts the doctor to do the surgery. As I was sitting there and listening to him talk about this whole situation, it occurred to me. My friend has to make a decision that could change his life... or take it. If he does go ahead and decide to do the surgery, he could wake up, or he could not wake up. I am paralyzed by this thought. As a 22 year old "kid", I am baffled by that decision he has to make. I'm sitting there thinking, (if this was me) "I have to make a decision that could possibly kill me."
Put yourself in his shoes if you haven't already. I love this guy so much, I want to be selfish and say, don't do it, I want you here on this Earth. I want to hang out. I want to go to the mall and eat Sesame chicken like we always do when we come home. Or go to Chris' Diner at 2am and play photohunt, or go to Applebee's after 9 to get half-price appetizers, or the countless other things we do. But then he said this... "But i've surrendered everything to God. God, You want me to stop going to school? Ok, you can have school. You want me to stop playing soccer? Ok, you can have soccer. You want me to potentially give up my life God? Ok Lord, you can have my life." In Mat Kearney's song "All I Have" it says, "All I have, all I have, all I have, well, you know it's yours..." Can you sing that song... and MEAN IT?! I'm just not gonna answer that question myself right now...

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Ya know folks. I wish I could say that is how I would react, or how I would handle that. Now I'm not here to boast about my best friend or about how spiritual he is. Galatians 6:14 tells me to boast in one thing... the Cross of Christ. But use it as a way to measure where you're at.

I can only think about when God told Abraham to sacrifice his son. I can't even imagine hearing that from God. I know God speaks to me in a small voice, but if I were to hear God say that to me now, I would laugh and think that I'm hearing voices. Well... what if you were listening to God and he said, "hey buddy. I want you to sacrifice your life. Ok? Ok thanks." Hmmm... how would you react. I know I would immediately be thinking selfish thoughts. All MY plans, "My ways are not your ways" God says, all my things, "everything you have I have given to you" God says, all my family members, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

I feel like my mind is in Iraq right now... mind grenades going off everywhere in my head. This hasn't even soaked in yet. Prolly won't for awhile.

Lord, Thank you for the many blessings you've given me. Thank you for safety. But if I do face something like this in the future, give me the strength to step up and be the man of God you want me to be. Blessed be the name of the Lord! Amen.